Written to: ♫ Madonna and Justin Timberlake: 4 Minutes ♫
It's always bothered me that that song isn't 4 minutes long.
Anyway, X Factor final tonight. Woop!
Except I'll be at work, serving 55 posh people and smiling away. Not so woop.
Anyway, as fixed and annoying as it may be sometimes, I love how X Factor has united and divided the country. Jedward, Cheryl and Dannii's outfits, Danyl: all these have triggered headlines and conversation.
Now that we've reached the final together I don't think many of us actually care who wins, seeming as the talent is no way near as good as it has been in previous years. But in the great spirit of things we want to see it through to the end, and so millions will tune in tonight to see the first evictee before tomorrow's proper final.
I've been told that up and down the country people are holding X Factor parties, a stay-in celebration for families and friends strapped for cash and wanting to spend time together. Sounds like Christmas! My family are one of these, we just bought half of Asda's confectionary to feed the nine over tomorrow night, and I even splashed out on X Factor chocolate (yes, that's right) from BHS for everybody to munch on.
I'm gutted that I'm not going to be a part of it, but more because everyone will be watching rather than the show itself.
I will be sneaking on a break to vote for Olly. Stacey doesn't have the attitude to be a pop star, and Joe (who I think will win even though I don't want him to) is a strange asexual being who will flop like Leon Jackson and Ray Quinn.
Leon who? Exactly.